When you have experienced a loss, you may feel a lot of intense feelings and emotions. You might feel sad, angry, empty, or even relieved. Grief can be confusing, especially when you are trying to adapt to a big change in your life. Here are some important things that can be helpful to know about the grieving process and grief counseling.
Grief Looks Different for Everyone and How Grief Counseling Can Help
For one person who is grieving, they may not want to go out much. Most daily tasks can feel overwhelming and they may feel like they are moving in slow motion. For another person, they may work more and try to keep busy. Slowing down may not be an option or might not feel good for them.
Neither of these examples are a wrong way to grieve. Just because one person is able to go back to work after one week doesn’t mean it is wrong to need several months before you can even consider working again. We all grieve differently and it is important not to hold yourself to someone else’s standard.
When asked about the different ways people grieve as witnessed in grief counseling sessions, Jill Gordon, LCSW-C, states, “Grief is rarely a straight line; it takes shape in a multitude of forms. Over years of sitting with clients in its deepest depths, I have witnessed how loss echoes through both the collective and the deeply private. We often look to traditional anchors to hold us; the shared comfort of funerals, wakes, shivas, and cultural ceremonies. Yet, the solitary rituals can be just as profound. I have seen people plant trees to watch a loved one’s memory grow, or cook a specific meal just to taste a shared past. Others write their grief into journals, seek solace in literature, find connection and community in support groups, or honor through giving to meaningful charities. Often, the body holds onto loss, making somatic movement, exercise, and other physical practices vital containers for processing. Listening in to our bodies we can offer ourselves what we may need in certain moments. Ultimately, the heart of mourning is the slow, painful permission to feel; to let the reality of the loss sit in both mind and body until it softens into acceptance.”
Your Loss is Unique to You
Your relationship with the person you lost is unique, which means the grief you experience can be different from other family or friends. Relationships can be complex and that means the feelings of grief may feel complex too. Someone may have spent years as a caretaker for a loved one who was in pain. Feeling relieved that they aren’t suffering after their death is not a bad thing. And while you feel relieved, you can also feel sad that they are gone. Grief can be, and often is, complicated and grief counseling can help when this arises.
It’s Normal to Feel Stuck
For many, losing a loved one can feel like your world has shattered. You may feel like your life has frozen, even as the world keeps going. How are you supposed to accept your new reality without your loved one? Grief counseling can be beneficial if this question is arising for you. When you experience a loss, there can be a loss of a role in your life, whether you were a parent, child, sibling, partner, or friend. Losing your role that may have been a core part of your life can make you feel like you are stuck. It’s not an easy change and it takes time to adapt to your new normal.
Be Kind to Yourself
It can be easy to be hard on yourself when you are grieving. You may feel you haven’t done enough work or been active enough recently. It’s important to be kind to yourself. You are experiencing a loss and a big change in your life. Celebrate little steps you are able to take. Maybe you were able to cook or eat a meal or went out for a walk. Those small wins matter when you are grieving.
Seek Support and Grief Counseling If Needed
Being kind to yourself also means being willing to accept support. You are going through a very difficult time, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Maybe you need to talk with someone close or need a friend to make a meal for you. Grief counseling can also be another way to ask for help that many find beneficial. Needing help in a hard time is not a bad thing and it takes strength to ask for help.
If you are grieving, therapy may be an additional support that can help you. Contact us to get scheduled with our therapists in Gaithersburg, MD.
Bec (they/them) is an intern at Gaithersburg Counseling Center. They are a graduate student at the University of Maryland, School of Social Work and are working toward their Master of Social Work (MSW) with a clinical concentration. They earned their bachelor’s in Social Work at the University of Wisconsin – Superior. Bec is compassionate and aims at collaborating with their clients to create an ideal space for healing and growth. They believe in empowering their clients in learning more about themselves and fostering resilience and self-awareness.
- Three Things to Know When Grieving - 10/15/2026