HANDLING RELATIONSHIP BUMPS – by Dr. Stephanie Buehler @ The Buehler Institute
Amy Hooper
It isn’t the bumps–it’s how you handle them that counts. Here are some pointers for getting past conflict and returning to harmony:
After an argument, make sure that the issue has been resolved.
What will be different in the future? How will you make that happen?
If the conflict has passed and is resolved, forgive your partner, who is after all only human–just like you.
And apologize. Whether you started the conflict or helped it to escalate, take responsibility and say sorry.
If it is an issue that doesn’t have a good solution, accept the outcome with grace.
Don’t use your ability to forgive to manipulate a partner or guilt trip them.
Be assertive. Stay with “I” statements when telling your partner how you are feeling and what you want going forward.
Plan to do something that fosters a feeling of togetherness. This can be as simple as lying in spoons, or going on a date.
Learn to let go and move past conflict. Holding onto feelings of anger can foster more conflict.
Couples that are harmonious tend to have a better sex life. The phrase is, “make love, not war,” not “make war, hang onto bad feelings, and try to repair it with sex”!
Article written by: Dr. Stephanie Buehler The Buehler Institute