How To Respond To A Loss
It is one of the guarantees of life, and it is not taxes; it is the other one, death. To be intentionally blunt, we will all some day die; we will lose loved ones, expectedly and sometimes unexpectedly. Despite this being a universal truth that crosses all societies and cultures; we often still continue to struggle to find the appropriate way to express condolences to friends, family, and colleagues in a time of loss. Oftentimes a lot of thought goes into the decisions of how to acknowledge grief after learning the loss of someones near and dear.
* To go or not to go to a Funeral, Wake, Visitation, Shiva, Memorial?
* To send a card, make a telephone call, write an email, bring a meal, or send flowers?
A common struggle is to figure out “what to say” to or “what to do” for a person in mourning. Are there “right” words to say? People often shy away from talking about a death/loss due to ones own discomfort with death. The uncomfortable feelings that can get stirred up in us may be related to multiple factors, including our own personal recent and past losses. There is often a desire and anxiety about wanting to say the proper thing. Sometimes that anxiety or uncertainty about what to say results in nothing being said or done, perhaps leading to more uncomfortable feelings. When in a position of feeling unsure about what to say, think about what you might appreciate from a friend/family member/colleague if you were in mourning.
Perhaps you would like:
* a hug
* someone to just sit and be with you
* someone to just acknowledge your loss “I am so sorry for your loss” or “I don’t have the right words, but know I am here for you” or simply “thinking of you during this difficult time”
* knowing you are not alone and people do care
Important to consider as well is losses come in variety of forms as well, including: loss of a job, death of a pet, a pregnancy miscarriage or infertility, ending of relationship or divorce. Times does help heal, though grief has no time line and it is important to remember that everyone truly does cope and deal with losses in different ways and in his/her own time. If you find yourself having a difficult time managing around a death or another loss, a trained therapist can help you sort through your feelings and support you and help you cope with the pain and loss. Here at Another Look At Healing, Now Gaithersburg Counseling Center we have multiple counselors available to talk with and see if counseling could be helpful for you at this time. Contact us for more information or resources at 240-274-5680 or Admin@HealingLLC.com or visit us online at www.HealingLL.com.